the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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