I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
