tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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