Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
