And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Can I color on your dick again?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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