This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
foreskin is a definite game changer
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Randomize
