she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize