420 ftw
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
