Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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