Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
