i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
