tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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