Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize