Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
