He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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