I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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