successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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