Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
why is half of my head shaved?
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