you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
