Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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