Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize