I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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