Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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