We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
