and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
