in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
