Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
