Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I cockslap morals
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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