stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
