I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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