It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
