you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
