My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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