stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
