Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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