How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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