idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
