it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize