WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Pooping to opera.
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