I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Randomize
