She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
