life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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