went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just found a bag of teeth...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
