it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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