Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
COCAINE IS GR8
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
