id be glad to
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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