I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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