Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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