i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
