i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
