office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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