Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
its not stalking. its research.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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