"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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