So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
