Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
