when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize