If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
