i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
