Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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