So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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