okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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