In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just want to make out with him forever
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
