It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
