Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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