Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
