So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
