Tell her she can't have a vagina
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
